Archive for January 11th, 2013

Farewell 2012

(Yes, I know I’m a bit late. Super Hubby welcomes you to his world.) 😉

I, as a rule, try not to set myself up for failure by doing resolutions. I am, however, working on a few things that I’ve either personally wrestled with this past year, or I’ve witnessed the hurt they’ve caused others.

1. When someone starts a conversation with the words ‘I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I thought you really should know’, you probably need to stop them cold. Unless they are giving you a seed of knowledge that can change your life for the better or save you from harm, there won’t be anything good to come from most of those chats. And this leads me to my next point.

2. ‘Sally thinks you are _____.’ Unless this blank space is a compliment, it doesn’t matter what Sally, Suzie, Tammy or anyone else thinks of you. What you, your family, and your closest friends think of you is all that matters. Especially YOU! Everything else is just their perception of the tiny sliver of your life that they may have misconstrued or assumed. We all know what happens when we assume, right? All of us can learn from this, me included. You don’t know what others have been through to make them pop off at the mouth or do something stupid.

3. Sometimes you just have to walk away from an argument. This has been (IS) tough for me. Some people don’t want to understand your side, no matter what you have to say. I’ve come to the conclusion after the ugly election battles, it’s far better to be happy than right on occasion. Learn to pick your battles. Human nature makes us want to convince others that we are right. Perception and perspective have a lot to do with this, too. Choose which arguments are worth your time and raised blood pressure. Walk away from anything else. A smug smile and a slight shake of the head as you walk away works wonders in a pinch.

4. Labeling someone because of their career choice is often times wrong. Not all attorneys are crooked, not all strippers are prostitutes, not all bankers are bad, and not all romance writers want to sit around chatting about sex with random men. As a romance writer myself, I have absolutely NOTHING against those who do the sex chat thing. There is a niche for every kind of writing one can imagine, and I will never judge anyone who wants to chat it up like that. Unfortunately for the few poor souls I’ve had to block on FB, I am not one of those people.

5. Judging someone from their past isn’t always a good idea. Some people change, grow, evolve and occasionally they even grow up! (I’m betting against the last one for me, but it could happen. Don’t give up hope.) Yes, some will always be the same, stuck in that rut or destructive behavior, but not everyone. I’m different than the person I was in my teens and twenties, thank God. I’m so far from perfect that I can see delusion from here, but I try hard most days to be a better person. Give people from your past a chance at forgiveness. If they hurt you badly, that doesn’t mean you have to forget and give them the opportunity to hurt you again. It just means that you can let the pain go and move on. It’s very freeing. I stumble with this one and grab that hurt back, clutching it to my scarred bosom with brute force at times. Super Hubby even has to remind me once in a while to let it go. It’s a learning process.

Thanks for stopping by. I hope you have a wonderful and prosperous new year!

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