Some funny pickup lines

I got these in an email yesterday and thought I’d share.  Now, some of these…okay, all of these…aren’t even remotely PC, so continue reading at your own risk LOL  This is just for fun 😉

1 ) Did you fart? …cuz you just blew me away.

2 ) Are yer parents related? …cuz ya sure are special.

3 ) My love fer you is like diarrhea. I just can’t hold it in.

4 ) Do you have a library card? …cuz I’d like to sign you out

5 ) Is there a mirror in yer pants? …cuz I can see myself in em.

6 ) You might not be the best lookin’ girl here, but beauty’s only a light switch away.

7 ) I know I’m not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

8 ) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

9 ) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.

AND… the best for last!

10) Yer face reminds me of a wrench. Every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up.

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When you get THE call.

The last few weeks have been a blur but not in a good way.  (Family drama on both sides and another laptop has gone to computer heaven) So, in honor of my most recent rejection (and right of passage as a writer, I’m told), I’m going to dust myself off and be positive.  I still have a full manuscript subbed to a large house, and I’m going to sell this manuscript SOON. 

There, I said it 🙂 

So, with that out for the world  to see, I’d like to share with you how I plan to celebrate that inevitable, exciting phone call from New York.  The hubby and I are amature (VERY amature) wine lovers.  We know all of the inexpensive brands that we love and would one day like to have the means to afford the not so inexpensive variety.  Long ago, back when I didn’t know any better and thought my NY debut was just around the corner (this has been one hell of a corner, let me just say), we decided that a bottle of Dom was in order when they called to tell me they wanted my stuff.  Well, we were at the store the other day picking out our undiscovered, inexpensive vino gems when I saw a case of Dom.  My husband held my hand, kissed my palm, and said, “It’s almost time.  I feel it.”  *sigh*  I love that man.

So, what are your plans after you get the call?

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Toni Sue’s overly used word of the week!

I discovered a time suck great little site to help you get a grasp on over-used words in your manuscript. 

Wordle!

While I was there wasting time trying it out, I found the pesky little word on the Post-It note was one of the biggest words on the page.  This means it was one of the most used words in my manuscript.  Needless to say, when I went back through, it wasn’t even really necessary in the sentence structure in most cases.  THAT seldom is.  So, dear friends, fellow writers, or just lovers of the English Language, I think we should all double-check our THATs.

I made the mistake of pointing this out to my husband, and he then proceeded to compose a sentence made of THAT used as an adverb, adjective, noun and verb.  He’s a very talented man…and loves to help me discover my misgivings 😉

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HOT new read from a HOT new author!

From the what-if in the boardroom to the fireworks in the laundry room, this book steams from start to finish.  Ms. Glass knows how to suck you (pun very much intended) into a story and send you home happy.  I must admit that I’m pretty picky when it comes to short stories.  I guess one too many of them has left me hanging or turned out to be just an elongated sex scene—which has its perks, don’t get me wrong—but those always leave me with unanswered questions, wishing for more storyline, or dimension to the characters.  I’m happy to report that this author filled the bill with Coin Operated.  The only thing she left me wanting was more.  This is a must read, and I promise you’ll never look at a quarter the same way again.  Ginny Glass is a hot new author in the steamy world of romance.  Watch out NY!

This doesn’t release until June 7th, but you can pre-order it here on Amazon.  Caution: not for the vanilla minded or those predisposed to spontaneous combustion! 😉

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Happy Birthday Daddy!

I’ve always been all about publicly humiliating my father, so this is just another venue for continuing the tradition.

So, Happy Birthday to the best daddy a girl could have.  Thank you for the love, dedication, perserverence and successfully dodging all the crap I put you though. 

In all seriousness, I love you very much and look forward to celebrating many more birthdays with you!

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