My characters won’t play nice!

 

That isn’t entirely true.  They are actually playing TOO nice!

AAAAaaaaggggghhh!!!  They are driving me to drink.  Short drive, yes, but very annoying!  Anyhow, I’m working on my new ghost story (THANK YOU AGAIN, JEN AND TRULA!!!).  I have direction, I am employing some of the characters from Another Time, Another Place, and I even found a way to fit butt whippings timed writings into my schedule (okay, kinda). 

So why am I complaining??  Yes Leese, I heard you ask 🙂 

BECAUSE THEY KEEP HEADING FOR THE SACK!  Geesh, they are putting bunnies to shame.  I have to switch to a different scene just to keep them apart, then…yup, you guessed it…they scamper toward the bed and drop trou’. 

The loud thunking noise you hear?  Me.  Banging my head against the wall.

Suggestions?  Love?  Chocolate?

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Oh…my…gosh…

Now that I’ve totally regained my composure… Okay, so maybe not just yet!! I still just wanna climb on my roof and scream to the neighborhood, “Gemma Halliday liked my book!!!” Yeah, that’s right. MY book, Click!

“I thought this was really good! And, of course, loved your main
character’s name (Her name is Jemma). 🙂 Really great characters, nice plot, loved it.”

She gave me pointers too…and I’m somewhat positive I will learn from them when my feet touch ground again 🙂 For those of you who don’t understand why I’m spazing out here, Gemma Halliday is who I wanna be when my writing grows up. Yeah, Gemma is “Bachelors Degree” level and I’m still…well, we’ll just classify it as I’m ‘not there yet’. To save anyone (ie: ME) from embarrassment 😉

Anyhow, she even gave me cover blurbs!!!!

“Click! is a fantastic story! Great characters – Tony is the hot hunk
I want to meet, and Jemma is the best friend I’d tell all about it.”

“T. Sue VerSteeg is a fresh new voice in contemporary romance. Fun,
flirty, and full of heart.”

Okay, I’m off to flit about and giggle uncontrollably 🙂 Hopefully the hubster will understand and not drag me off for psychiatric evaluation!

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I am SO lucky!

As most of you could tell, I pretty much dropped off of the face of the earth for a bit. Training for a new job, being sick and all the fun ‘home crap’ has kept me just lurking online as of late. I think I’m back amongst the living now though.

*pinch*

Yup.

Anyhow, I just wanted to say that I consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world right now. I have the best friends in the world, both in real life and cyber-space!

I was down on myself and feeling VERY low yesterday. Some would call it a self-pity party, I prefer to think of it as self-loathing. As though she had ESP…N or something, Ms. Jennifer McKenzie-Leeland called me on the phone and yanked my brain and butt outta the pond scuzz. She sensed my mood, donned her leather mistress gear and cracked her whip, which was exactly what I needed. She barked some orders, virtually popped me upside the head and made me pinky swear that I would listen to her…for a change 😉 I’m serious here. It was like she ‘knew’ I needed this…and I did! *MWAH* Thank you for bringing me and my writing back into the living world!

THEN I sign on to yahoo messenger and Trula smacks me around a little (again, in a good way!). We actually got some writing done…in between thunderstorms! She read over some of my writing, stroked my ego and listened to me whine for a while too. And bless her heart, she’s still my friend…I think. 😉 I’m so lucky to have her as my friend and crit partner. For you non-writing people reading this, that has nothing to do with an alternate lifestyle. 😀 Actually, being a writer does kinda qualify as an alternate lifestyle… *ponders* Just not anything kinky…unless you live inside Jen’s head 😉 She has the wonderful ability to turn any scene into a kinky love fest. Talk about talent! 🙂

I’ve talked about Leese in the past, but want to take a second to show her some love too. I could not function without her in my life, as a writer or human being! She called this weekend to check for a pulse since she hadn’t heard from me in forever. She can tell you straight up, I don’t make friends easily. I’m very picky about who I befriend. I don’t put up a false face and pretend to be someone I’m not just so people will like me. She shoved right past that wall and either loves me for who I am, or puts up a pretty good front 😉

I have a few other friends and I’m sure I’ll be singing their praises someday, but today is about these three wonderful women. Thank you so much for being my friends. I love you guys and couldn’t make it without you. BIG HUG!

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A peace offering…

 

Yes, I know I’ve been a bad blogger.  A sick, bad blogger who just started a new job. Blah. 

 Anyhow, my sister sent me this in an email and I thought I’d share.  It is funny…but all too true 🙂

 

How To Give A Cat A Pill  

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.   


2. Retrieve pill from
floor and cat from behind sofa Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.   


3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.   


4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.   


5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.   


6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.  


7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil
wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.   


8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw   


9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water
and soap.  


10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.   

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.   


13. Tie the little bastard’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.   


14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.    

15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
 

 

How To Give A Dog A Pill
 

1. Wrap it in bacon. 

2. Toss it in the air.

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